Circles.

I am running circles in my mind. Wondering how I got to this place, wondering if I ever want to escape. I could trace circles around your lips forever. I could remain lost in your gaze, that twinkle, that depth...too much for my heart to handle and finally more than my soul had been looking for. I am a mess...trying to avoid assumptions and labels, trying to name this feeling within myself. When have I run this hard? When have I felt this drive and dizzying passion? More circles. An endless questioning of what I can do to resolve this situation with minimal damage to exterior parties. I never meant to steal. I feel as though I haven't stolen a thing. I feel as though you have been mine all along, only we hadn't met.

It takes great confidence and insanity to say what I have said. You are mine. I am yours. That seems undeniable when we are in the same room. I know not how to remove this emotion from the air that we share...nor would I care to if I could. It is a feeling of unparalleled heights. Dizzy to no end, unable to get my bearings and not giving a damn if I fall on my face. Sometimes the prize is worth the risk and possible humiliation involved; so is the case here. I am aware of my circular rambling. I am aware that at this moment, there is one place I want to be, and that is not here typing this note. I want to be looking into your eyes, hearing your breath, feeling the softness of your hands, knowing that with or without words, I have never experienced communication like we share. I long to trace circles....on your palm, on your neck, on your side, on your lips and on your heart.

Turning

I know the world will keep turning regardless of my heartaches. In a most interesting turn of events...I find I may be turning. A small giggle escapes me. I know I am not turning gay. I know that I find her irresistible. There is no way I can understand this situation. I fell into my first female experience with a new friend of mine and I was happy to have the opportunity. I have admired the beauty of women for a long time but never had the chance to feel one beyond a strip club. She gave me that opportunity. She also gave me the ability to see myself as a whole person...desirable both inside and out. How is it possible that this change could occur in a short period of time? I know. It is the intensity and frequency with which we have responded to one another. It has changed me and I love her.